


It's a blacked out blur (but I'm pretty sure it ruled)

by beggarscantbchoosers



Category: Da Vinci's Demons
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Leo and Nico are students, Leo has bad judgement, Multi, Nico goes along with it, Swearing, Zo is a bartender, b/c Zo is a sweetheart, but none actually occurs, discussion of dubcon, probably, thank goodness Zo's around to take care of them both, waking up in a stranger's bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:04:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beggarscantbchoosers/pseuds/beggarscantbchoosers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Leo!” Nico whined. “Wake up, I don’t know where we are!”</p><p>In which Leo just wants to sleep, Nico needs the loo, and <i>someone</i> has to look after these idiots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a blacked out blur (but I'm pretty sure it ruled)

**Author's Note:**

> 'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn't either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us' au [from here](http://theappleppielifestyle.tumblr.com/post/112392287541/list-of-aus-to-consider-where-one-or-both-of-ur) except they end up staying for breakfast instead???
> 
> I really need to stop titling things after songs /grumbles

Leo awoke with a groan when his mattress shifted in a way that made both his head and his stomach protest, and attempted to burrow his head underneath a pillow.

“Leo, get off, I really have to pee.” His pillow complained, and Leo grunted and allowed himself to be shoved off. He opened his eyes a sliver and peered blearily at his pillow – rather, his close friend and tutee, Nico – as the blonde froze and stared around the room. “Leo!” He hissed. “This isn’t your flat!”

“And?” Leo grunted, dropping his face back into the pillow and breathing in the smell of fabric softener and cologne – something spicy and pleasant, and oddly unfamiliar. “I crash at yours all the time, what’s the problem?” He complained, voice muffled by the cotton. “Worried your new boyfriend will protest?” He teased lightly, letting his head loll to the side so he could grin inanely up at Nico. “You should’ve told me. He has good taste in cologne, whoever he is.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Nico said, absently. “I would’ve stopped sleeping with you if I did.” He added, flushing slightly, brow furrowed. “Anyway, this isn’t my place either! I don’t know where we are!”

“Well, my point still stands.” Leo yawned and snuggled back into the sheets. “This pillow smells amazing.”

“Leo!” Nico whined. “Wake up, I don’t know where we are!”

“Don’t use that tone Nico, you know it cuts straight through my head.” Leo muttered, sullenly, and cracked one eye to glower at Nico who, despite his concern as to their unknown location and dark bags under his eyes, didn’t seem to be suffering any after effects of their heavy drinking the night before. Then again, Nico tended to be a sleepy drunk and Leo had vague recollections of the teenager passing out early on in the evening. “Look, this isn’t the first time I’ve woken up in a stranger’s bed, they’ll turn up sooner or later to kick us out, might as well get some more sleep before then.” Nico stared at him, completely aghast.

“This might be commonplace for you, but I’ve never-” He cut off, voice tremulous, and fidgeted where he sat, cheeks flaming. Leo closed his eyes and berated himself mentally for a few moments. Of course Nico had never been in this situation – as Leo was reminded on a regular basis, he’d been a terrible influence on the younger boy; Nico had been a virgin in both the traditional and metaphorical senses before Leo got to him, so whilst the older boy was used to the stereotypical artist’s life of drinking and debauchery, Nico was still working his way up from ‘lightweight’ and had only ever slept with one person – Leo himself. “Also, I still need to pee.” Nico added, in a quiet, uncertain voice, his shoulders hunched. Leo sighed and rolled off the bed, pausing in the middle of staggering to his feet in order to clutch at his pounding head. He glanced down at himself – the t-shirt he was wearing was his own, but the boxers were unfamiliar, though that wasn’t that much of a surprise – Leo knew for a fact that he hadn’t actually been wearing underwear when he went out last night; his jeans had been too tight. The jeans in question were draped over the edge of a battered laundry basket, with what looked like Nico’s slightly baggier ones underneath, and both his and Leo’s shoes lined up neatly on the floor below. Leo glanced over at Nico; the teenager was wearing an enormous, unfamiliar hoodie that hung on him so much it could’ve been a dress. The boxers Leo was wearing were baggy too, even though Leo himself was a little bigger than Nico – he surmised that they had obviously managed to get taken home by a giant, and just hoped he wasn’t some kind of rugby team two beer queer – Leo had had one too many uncomfortable experiences with that particular demographic, he knew just how badly they could react when they’d sobered up. He weighed the pros and cons of getting dressed for a moment, contemplated the possibility of their host being the kind of bloke who’d happily let them use his shower before kicking them out – Leo’s arms felt suspiciously sticky, and he thought he remembered sloshing drinks down himself whilst dancing at least once, not to mention Nessa’s penchant for doing body shots. “Leo!” Nico hissed urgently, beginning to fidget, and Leo sighed and held out his hand. No point worrying the kid, and if anything could stop an enormous, angry rugby player in denial about his queerness it was Nico’s adorable puppy face.

“C’mon then!” He said, trying to smile reassuringly. “Let’s go find our illustrious host and ask him where the bathroom is. I could do with a shower, myself.” He winked, then added: “Perhaps you’d like to join me, Nico?” just to see the teenager blush.

“Shut up.” Nico muttered, lacing his fingers through Leo’s and huddling in close. Leo shot a last glance around the room, but was unable to infer any more information about their host from the Spartan furnishings and plain, peeling paint than he already had. He opened the door, feeling Nico cling to his hand a little tighter, and found himself face to face with a god. A god in that he was holding a steaming mug of coffee in one hand, though the attractive face and broad, well muscled shoulders certainly helped. Without further ado Leo took the several paces necessary to go out of the bedroom and over to the kitchenette where said god stood, and snatched the mug of coffee straight out of his hand. The god watched, smiling in bemusement, and promptly fished a bag of sugar out of a cupboard when Leo pulled a face at the taste.

“Spoons are in the drawer there.” Their host said, retrieving another mug from the cupboard behind him and filling it from the coffee pot. He glanced over at Nico, his face softening. Leo noticed, but was too busy spooning half the bag of sugar into his mug to feel smug about it. “You want anythin’?”

“I, uh.” Nico fidgeted, flushing again, then smiled his helpless smile. The god all but melted. With his coffee more sugar than anything else at this point, Leo took a moment to hide his smug grin in his mug. “Bathroom?” Nico asked, hopefully, and their host nodded in the direction of another door, painted white and slightly ajar, in the far corner. Nico muttered a thanks and disappeared, leaving a contentedly caffeinated Leo to eye their host. Probably for the best; he was the one with more experience of waking up in an unknown bed, after all. He glanced around the rest of the flat for a moment. Like the bedroom, it was sparsely furnished, with a battered grey sofa and a table with mismatched chairs marking the delineation between kitchen and living and dining areas. At one end of the sofa lay a crumpled ball of blanket and a pillow with the head indentation still visible, and Leo blinked for a moment. The bed in which he and Nico had woken up – likely the most expensive thing in the flat – was enormous, definitely large enough to fit three, if not more. He’d assumed that their host had spent the night with them and then just slipped out before he and Nico woken up from their drunken stupors. But judging from the bedding on the sofa – and it was hardly more than a loveseat, really – their host had actually spent the night here, curled up on the too small and likely uncomfortable sofa, instead. He turned back to stare at the flat’s occupant, and the man must have noticed where Leo’s attention had gone. He flushed, adorably, and Leo felt his traitorous heart give a little twinge at the sight.  
“I was gonna give you the sofa and let the kid have the bed.” He muttered. “But you crawled right in with him and wouldn’t be moved, so I slept out here.”

“And where would you have slept if I’d been on the sofa?” Leo asked, frowning. He thought he should feel angry, protective of Nico, when his first thought was that the man had intended to sleep with Nico when he was drunk and unable to consent, but something in him, possibly that part of his heart that had fallen for that adorable blush, denied it. There was no way this man had intended to take advantage of Nico. His next words confirmed it; the man just shrugged in answer, and muttered: “The floor?”

“The floor?” Leo repeated, eyebrows shooting up. “This is your flat!” The man shrugged again, and gave an awkward little grin.

“Well, you’re the guests.” He teased, then turned back to the counter behind him, rummaging through a plastic shopping bag placed on the side. “I dunno what you two eat, but I got some bread and eggs. No bacon though, I’m afraid, Mrs. Berkovich were in the shop, and she’d tell Rabbi Josef _and_ me uncle if she caught me buying bacon.”

“That’s fine.” Leo said, absently, staring at the man in front of him. “Eggs is fine, I mean. I’m a vegetarian.”

“I’m not.” Nico commented glumly, appearing beside Leo, who slung a protective arm around the teenager’s shoulders. “I wonder if Nessa has bacon.” He muttered, almost absentmindedly, then stared at their host for a minute. “You’re the bartender!” He blurted, finally, and blushed. Leo was assaulted then with a memory from last night – Nico smiling shyly at the gorgeous man now stood in front of them, whilst Leo stood over with Nessa and the others and wondered if his young protégé would be willing to share. Their host – the bartender – laughed awkwardly and ran his hand through his hair.

“That’s me.” He grinned, raising one shoulder in a half shrug. “You uh, fell asleep at the bar and yer mate here,” he nodded at Leo, “was too drunk to tell me yer address, and me boss was all for just kicking you out into the street at closin’, but I wasn’t gonna let him…” He shrugged again, helplessly. “Figured I’d bring you back here and let you sleep it off.”

“That’s… Very altruistic of you.” Nico said, frowning. The bartender shrugged again, and this time his shoulders remained raised, ever so slightly defensive.

“Well, I’ve spent enough nights on the street meself to know it’s no place for a kid like you.” He muttered. It was the wrong thing to say; Nico drew himself up to his full height – though at over half a foot shorter than the man in front of them, it wasn’t particularly impressive – and clenched his hands into fists at his sides.

“What do you mean, a kid like me?” He asked, shrilly, and the bartender looked helplessly at Leo for a moment, who just smirked around the lip of his pilfered mug.

“Well, yanno…” The bartender grinned and gestured to Nico, looking even smaller and younger than usual, swamped as he was in a hoodie several sizes too big for him. “You’re pretty, sweetheart, and I know you’re nineteen ‘cause I checked your ID myself, but you don’t look it.”

“You’d be a target, Nico.” Leo said, taking pity on the bartender when Nico didn’t seem soothed by this answer at all, though his cheeks had pinkened upon hearing the bartender thought he was pretty. “You’re young, and cute, and you look innocent, even if I know full well you’re not.” He teased, and snuck his hand down to grope Nico’s arse, making him squeak and blush even more deeply.

“You’re the kind of posh white twink who’d attract a lot of unpleasant attention.” The bartender agreed, expression more serious now, though he broke up the solemn air with a wink. “Now c’mon, tell me how you like your eggs, and we’ll get you two fed before I kick you out. You want a lift home, or should I just call you a taxi?” He added, almost as an afterthought, as he stuck bread under the grill and fished out a frying pan.

“Whatever you’re making is fine.” Leo shrugged, and glanced over at Nico, who, now that the gorgeous bartender’s attention was on the food and not the two of them, was openly staring at the way the muscles of his arms and back moved under a too-tight shirt with every movement. “We wouldn’t want to inconvenience you, though.” He smiled, winningly, when the bartender frowned up at him in response to that comment. “We’ll make our own way home, it can’t be that far.” The bartender snorted.

“This is the shitty part of town, mate, and for the aforementioned reasons…” He gestured to Nico again. “I ain’t lettin’ you just walk home. You don’t want me knowin’ where you live, ‘s fine, but in that case you get a taxi.”

“I don’t have a problem with you knowing where I live.” Leo put on his best flirty grin. “You’ve been a perfect gentleman so far, after all.” He leant in a little closer, bit his bottom lip and looked up from under his lashes. “Some might even argue too much of one.”

“Ain’t no such thing.” The bartender muttered, gruffly, and Leo’s grin widened at the return of a blush to those dark, stubbled cheeks. “Go sit down, food’s almost ready.” Leo laughed and let Nico tug him over to the table, slouching back in his chair with one arm extended, fingers still laced with Nico’s. Now that the boy knew, to some extent, where they were and who they were with, he seemed to be a little more at ease (and the realisation that they had evidently not had a drunken threesome with a stranger was probably helping), but he still clung to Leo’s hand, almost subconsciously. His eyes, however, didn’t leave the bartender, and Leo had to hold back a long suffering sigh. He was going to have to play matchmaker, he just knew it. He’d do anything for Nico, including but not limited to setting him up with the gorgeous and clearly caring bartender who Leo himself may or may not have developed the tiniest of crushes on. If he played his cards right, he could probably still get in on it anyway. Leo was nothing if not resourceful.

“So!” He chirped, drinking the last of his coffee and pausing a moment to stare sadly into his mug – the bartender passed him the coffee pot, and Leo beamed at him, topping his mug up (the bartender handed him the sugar in exchange for the now empty carafe, and Leo fell a little further) – “I must admit, I don’t recall catching your name at any point last night. That’s not to say you didn’t give it to me, of course, but I did have rather a lot to drink.” He winked, and the bartender let out a soft huff of laughter.

“Zo.” He said, setting down two plates of toast and scrambled eggs in front of them, and bringing over a glass and a carton of apple juice and passing them to Nico, who let go of Leo’s hands in order to eagerly pour himself some. Leo had the feeling if this was a cartoon, there’d be hearts in the boy’s eyes right now – and his own too, no doubt – and he smiled fondly at his protégé, before turning that same smile, tinged with a heaping spoonful of gratefulness, onto Zo, who flushed again. “Way he was ordering cocktails last night, ain’t much of a leap to guess he’s got a sweet tooth.” He muttered, then eyed Leo’s mug of coffee flavoured sugar doubtfully. “O’course, the way you were downin’ shots, I would’ve thought you’d drink your coffee bitter.”

“I like my coffee like I like my men.”

“Solid?” Zo asked, doubtfully, before glancing over at Nico, who didn’t look so sure about breakfast now it was in front of him, and was poking uncertainly at the eggs.

“Sweet.” The teenager glanced up and smiled – Zo melted all over again – and then turned back to his eggs.

“Solid is good too though.” Leo commented, giving Zo’s broad shoulders a rather unsubtle appreciative ogle. Zo smirked, and flexed a little. “Solid, dark and sweet.” Leo purred, flashing Zo a slow smile and a smouldering gaze that the bartender held, still smirking himself, until Nico jerked them both out of it by knocking his apple juice over into Leo’s lap.

“Sorry!” He mumbled, flushing furiously, as Leo and Zo leapt to their feet, the former wincing at the shock of cold juice to bare skin, the latter reaching for a tea towel, which he tossed straight to Leo after a brief consideration. Leo winked at him again, then pulled a face at the cling of damp fabric across his thighs and groin. He considered just stripping off and seeing how the bartender reacted to that, but- “Don’t you dare!” Nico yelped, pointing at him – some of Leo’s thought process must have crossed his face, else Nico was simply getting better at predicting Leo’s actions. The artist laughed and reached over to ruffle Nico’s hair.

“You take all the fun out of everything.” He informed the teenager.

“What, because I make you _behave_?” Nico said, disapprovingly, and then he pouted and Leo simply sighed, and sat back down to eat his breakfast, the towel in his lap.

“Someone’s whipped.” Zo muttered, hiding his grin in his coffee, and Leo snorted.

“Nico has _everyone_ whipped.” He said. “He’ll have you wrapped around his little finger before we leave, don’t worry.”

“Too late for that.” Zo said, and winked at Nico, who went bright red, causing Zo to flush in response. Leo watched this, and had to resist the urge to groan aloud, perhaps throwing in some dramatic eyerolling as well.

“Well!” He chirped, instead, clapping his hands. “Nico, I think we should invite this gorgeous man over for dinner some time, to say thank you for taking such good care of us last night.” He said, dropping his voice on the last few words, looking up from under his lashes so there was no way Zo could mistake his meaning. The bartender flushed and laughed awkwardly, taking an almost nervous sip of his coffee.

“Nah, that’s alright.” He muttered. “’s basic human decency, ain’t it?”

“Nonetheless, I am _very_ grateful.” Leo said, mock solemnly. “There are some _dreadful_ people out there, and whilst I am jaded enough that waking up in a stranger’s bed and _not_ having fucked them the night before is unusual for me…” He winked. “Nico is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world, and has never experienced the awkwardness of a morning after.” Nico was bright red, and Zo was chuckling, by the time Leo finished; he flashed them both a grin, and slouched back in his chair. “Of course, we could make this a lot simpler and just admit that we’re all going to fuck at some point, so we might as well just dive straight into it.” He added, faux casually, and both Zo and Nico choked on their respective drinks. Leo grinned again. “Or I could leave, if you’re not into that.” He suggested, before letting out an overly mournful sigh. “It would be the one true regret of my life, of course – you are _breathtakingly_ gorgeous, after all – but I would endure, for Nico’s sake.” Zo was still choking, and Leo almost felt guilty, especially when their host actually had to dig an inhaler out of his pocket to cope, but the man was grinning, albeit a little shyly, when he was finished, so Leo didn’t worry too much.

“So, dinner?” Nico said, smiling adorably, and Leo, watching Zo’s face, knew that they had him, right there. As he’d said, Nico had _everyone_ whipped.


End file.
